On Tuesday, September 16th, I got up and went to work like any normal day. Griffin was pretty active in my belly that day, though that was pretty normal as he was always moving during the day. There was nothing out of the ordinary about how I was feeling or what I was experiencing, that is until about 4:00 that afternoon. I went to the bathroom and to my surprise I was having some bleeding. I thought it was rather odd, but since it wasn't a ton (but also wasn't just spotting) I really wasn't going to do much about it. But, of course, I first took to Dr. Google to see what he had to say...after most everything there saying to at least call your OB office. I figured that I could at least do that especially since it was already 4:00 and they would be closing in an hour and then it can be tricky sometimes to get someone's opinion after hours.
So I headed out from work to pick up Ezekiel at preschool around 4:30. Got on the phone during my drive and talked with the triage nurse and she said that I should probably head in to labor and delivery at the hospital to just be checked and monitored. She said that she would call them and tell them I was coming and then hung up, if she wouldn't of said that I probably wouldn't of gone in. I am usually not one to make a big fuss out of things, and this was borderline for me. I probably just would of headed home to chill out and relax on the couch and see what happened.
So I told Mike to meet us at the hospital in Waconia, I swung by, picked up Ezekiel and we headed through to the hospital. We got there, got checked in and Mike was there moments later. Of course Ezekiel was starving (because really when is he not!) so while they are trying to ask me a million questions we are trying to dig through my purse to find snacks for him! And I will say this a million times, but everyone at the hospital is so great and so they took Mike and Ezekiel to find the kitchen to get some snacks!!
During that time they did a few test on me, honestly I can't really remember what they all did in what time frame. But I feel like every test they did at that time came back with 'well that doesn't necessarily give us a good answer of what is going on and what we should do'. Then they decided to send me down for an ultrasound to see how he was doing. He wasn't quite as active as they would like him to be, I thought that meant there would be a greater push to keep him in to grow and develop more, as there was already talk of taking him that night (which at that time I did not want at all), but it actually ended up being another reason why they should move forward with getting him out as he probably wasn't getting the oxygen and nutrients that he needed. During my ultrasound we called my mom and had her come and pick up Ezekiel as it was already 7:30 and it was starting to show that this wasn't going to be done anytime soon.
When I came up from my ultrasound my midwife Jamie was there, they said she decided to come over to evaluate for herself what was going on. She gave me a look as I came down the hall and I knew something was brewing. She evaluated me and did some more tests all along I was hooked up to the fetal monitoring. She said she was in contact with the on call doctor and would be consulting with her as to what to do because my body really had her stumped at this point! After a bit Jamie came back in my room and said that the on call doctor Dr. Larson, was coming in to evaluate for herself because she just couldn't figure it out either.
I am not a worrier, but when I was told that and then felt like 2.3 second later she was there busting into my room, lets just say my concerns grew! As I feel a lot of MDs are, she was more urgent and bold with everything that we discussed which was a bit overwhelming for me! Especially going from my midwife, Jamie, who is cool as a cucumber, calm, and peaceful as it gets! At this point Jamie told me that the decision now is ultimately up to Dr. Larson and Mike and I as to what we will do. Even Dr. Larson didn't really know what was going on, but after asking me a million questions again, she said that I am way to healthy of a person for something like this to be happening, so it is definetly a cause for concern. Sothis is a run down of what all the tests were saying:
*the ultrasound showed that he wasn't as active as they like him, which could mean that he is either sleeping or in distress.
*the fetal monitoring showed that his heart rate was exactly where it needed to be and he was good, other than having little one second dips every once in while, which meant that he was probablly rolling onto the umbillical cord, which could be cutting off his oxygen and nutrients. And it also was showing that I was having some regular contractions, though I couldn't feel them at all yet.
*the pelvic exam said that I was starting to dialate, but only to a 1, which can happen at 33 weeks.
*one test, not sure which one, showed that either my water broke and had been slowly draining without me realizing, or he wasn't getting proper nutrients which resulted in him not making enough ammniotic fluid. I was down to a level of 4 which meant there was no keeping him in there longer than a few days.
*another test showed that some of his blood was getting in with mine, which should really never happen.
So at this point Dr. Larson gave me two choices:
A) take the baby right away Tuesday night and I could either do a c-section or be induced and try for a natural labor. The only thing with a natural labor is that she said they can't use a vacuum or forceps since he is premature, they need to protect his eyes and head. Which then could end up in an emergency c-section which is just messier and more stress on everyone.
B) wait until morning, because they had given me a steroid shot which would help develop his lungs, and even just having that work for 12 hours can make a difference. And then either do a c-section or try for a natural labor with the same applying for a natural labor as in option A.
We asked a few questions and then everyone stepped out of the room to give us a chance to talk, Jamie stayed back for a second to see if I was ok and I asked her opinion. Her thoughts were pretty in line with mine, lets give it until morning and then probably do a c-section, as to not put Griffin in distress during a natural labor.
Jamie left the room, and that was my first moment to let my guard down and not try to act like I had it all together. I literally just broke down sobbing crying, I am a planner and I know how this was all supposed to go...and this definetly wasn't it! The minor hiccups that I had during my pregnancy, labor, and delivery with Ezekiel, I was taking proper steps through this pregnancy so I wouldn't have those issues. Having my baby at 33 weeks and probably by c-section was about as far away from "the plan" as you could get! I was mad, upset, and down right ticked off that I was down to these 2 choices. I was having a pity party moment, as this isn't the way I wanted it to go and I wasn't ready for this! There was still so much we needed to do and afterall the craziness that our life has been the last year and half, we were just finding our "normal" again, which was nice to have before the baby came!
Mike so sweetly comforted me, we dicussed our options, and we had come to a decision, prayed, and then Dr. Larson and Jamie came back into the room. Dr. Larson said my blood test just came back and it showed that my blood was clotting, which meant then my body was definetly in distress and it was probably an abrubtion of some sort. So whatever decision we had come to didn't matter because that meant it was go time right now and by c-section.
I felt like the second those words came out of her mouth, hundreds of people came bombarding through the door (ok, it was probably only like 10, but it felt like so many)! As the anesthiologist was talking me through the spinal block, a nurse was taking another blood sample, another nurse was asking me questions, I was mostly wondering how our baby would be and what would happen with him, so they called up the nurse practitioner from the NCU because that is where he would go right after he was born.
I was so overwhelmed! I must of had a deer in the headlights look going on because I think everyone could tell I was starting to get overwhelmed and started to slow things down or ran through things again for me. Like I said already I am a planner! I need to know what is going to happen! And since a c-section was not even in the same ballpark as my plan, I really had no idea what to expect because honestly I would just skip over all of those parts in the birthing books or those articles online. Because frankly, I was pretty much NEVER going to have one...until right 'the freaking goodness' NOW!!! WHAT?!?!
And all of a sudden it was go time!! We prayed again and they took me away to the OR for my spinal block and to get prepped. Once everything was prepped then Mike could come in after he changed into his scrubs. As I got in the OR, I instantly started shaking! A combo of being nervous and it being as cold as the freaking polar ice caps in there!!! They did my spinal block, which was the part that I was most nervous about (as a reference, my dislike of needles is so high, that I would rather give birth naturally, than to of had an epidural!), it really wasn't that bad though. So as the lower half of my body started to go numb they prepped me and got everything ready. They brought Mike in and it was almost GO time...right before Dr. Larson made the incision she pinched my belly pretty hard and I could still feel it and could actuallly still wiggle my toes a bit! YIKES!!! So they sent Mike out of the room took everything down and did another spinal block, just be sure! They re-prepped me and brought Mike back in again, and this time I thankfully couldn't feel anything!
So it was offically GO time!
Dr. Larson and the rest of the staff started to do their thing, I couldn't feel any pain but you can definetlly feel someone rummaging around in your guts! And my word does it not feel good at all!!! Mike was sitting there by my head holding my hand and I just remember squeezing it super hard as they tore my stomach apart, literally as she said she prefers to make a small insicion and then stretch everything from there!!! Ugh!!! To toot my own horn a bit, as Dr. Larson was making the insicion she was impressed with how nice of abs that I had (and may I point out, WHAT SHE WAS CUTTING THOUGH!), so that is always nice to hear! Well within just a handful of minutes, all of a sudden a nurse said you are going to feel some pressure now (just starting now?), I barely was able to process what she said and all of a sudden she was pushing on the top of my stomach. Then the Doctor said that he had a lot of hair and then moments later here was out!
They suctioned out his mouth and he started crying right away! The second I heard him cry I started crying...a lot! They showed him to me over the curtian, he was so tiny, but perfect!!!! Then they took him into a room that is right off of the OR, one that they keep a lot warmer! Mike went in there with him and was able to cut the umbilical cord and take some first pictures of him. I could still hear him crying, which everyone was so surprised about since he was so early. I truly have no idea what they were all doing in there for him. But after a bit they had him in a mobile NCU bed and they brought him back out to see me, and then took him over the the NCU. Mike said good bye and they were out the door! Again, defintly not the way I had planned it to go! But feeling relieved that he was good! I later found out that he was born 4 pounds 11 ounces and 17.5 inches! Everyone was surprised at how big he was for onlly being 33 weeks and how small I looked! He's a strong boy and such a fighter!
So then there I was getting cleaned up and stitched back up. As Dr. Larson looked through things she said that my placenta was detached between 50-70%! So that explained everything! She also said that some of the detached tissue and the blood was old, like a couple of days, which meant this had been occuring for a couple of days already! It was again confirmed that this was the best choice was made for both Griffin and myself! As a ruptured placenta can kill the mother very quickly and probably do the same to the baby! They were all very surprised that I didn't have any pain or cramping or really any other signs or symptoms that this was occuring. With the placenta not being attached all the way, Griffin was not getting nutritents or oxygen through the placenta and if/when he was roll on to the umbillical cord he was cutting everything off! Its scary to think that if he would of ended up laying on the umbilical cord for any length of time he would of been stillborn!
And as for his name, we pick first names that have a great meaning and middle names that are family names. So Griffin means strong, which is the perfect name for him, because that is exactly what he is!!! He is proving to be SO strong!!! And his middle name, Mark, it is my uncle's name, my dad's brother. He is such a wonderful man of God and loves and cares about all of his great nephews and niece like they are his own, which is so special because he doesn't have any kids of his own, so we wanted to pass his name on!
We are so blessed to have such an amazing God that watches over us and protects us from evil! Through it all my brain was going crazy as this wasn't my plan, but I had peace in my heart and spirit and knew that this is what we needed to do and that everything was going to be just fine! There is so much more to this that I think I will write about in the future, as this post is getting so long. We just know that this little boy is SO blessed and will do amazing things with his life!!!
We have been so blessed with the love and support of all our family and friends! We truly appreciate the prayers for Griffin and the rest of us, we are seeing God answering our prayers every day with how amazing Griffin is progressing! We appreciate all the gifts and baby items, as we were not at all ready for him and still had a lot to buy and get ready! The biggest helps has been all the amazing meals and snacks that so many of our amazing friends have provided for us! Its so nice to take one thing off our plate and not have to think about what to make for dinner after a long day of juggling our normal lives plus trying to spend as much time as possible with Griffin at the hospital! Thank you to every one! We love you all!!
